Lazy... lazy...

Yesterday, i took my PA paper 2 and MUET writing exam. For me, the exam was still ok because i still can answer all the questions. At night, i went for fustal until 1am something. After that, i went 'lim teh' with my best friends until 3am something. Oh my God... >< haiz...

Actually i plan to study the whole day today. But may be due to yesterday night activity, i'm damn tired today. NO mood to study... CHAM! Next weeks is a important week, need taking Sejarah(dunia&Islam) paper, Makroekonomi and BM paper 2. None of the paper is easy. Damn...

I had received my first birthday present yesterday, from a girls. Haha ^^ Thanks a lot for the present because it really a big surprise for me. So touching when open and saw the present.


Outlook of my first present for this year


Opened it slowly and carefully... see i so 'xi xin'


WaOooo....is a MP4... surprise!!!


Suddenly feel so touching le...


Wan to tell her that i like it very very much ^^


I found a resit inside...think is the most expensive birthday present i had received


Don't worry.., i will appreciate it for the whole life ^^ Thx loh

Actually i plan to open it on my birthday but early opened it because really want to know what inside this small green box. Besides, i seldom saw people wrapped present with A4 paper also. At first, she told me is another thing and i really believe with it. May be she looks too trustworthy gua...because i won't admit that i easy to cheat. Again, i been cheated by her when i opened it. Really a big big big surprise leh ^^I still remember last time i said that she don't know how to give people surprise but now i already received 2 surprise from her.

Back to reality, trial exam was just started but i still dare to let myself relax for this whole day. i just can say, 'Good luck to you, kok thai'. Hmm... Hapi Birthday to Me also ^^

Post before TRIAl ><

Trial exam is coming. I think this is my last post before trial. Same as usual, exam bring me a lot of pressure and i think it is same to others. I just hope that i could achieve the targets in my mind. I no need a very good results but at least not too bad. I know that it is very difficult for me to achieve 4As' in STPM but i will try hard and never give up.

My birthday is coming also. Unfortunately, this year birthday fall on my trial exam. Sigh >< Special thanks to those who wished me last year. Shi yong, Yee chian, Mei ying, Shy miin, Mun jie, Wee wen, Jean yi, Wei wei, Teng ann, Ker wei, Huei ying, Sok kuan, Pei chi, Junn terng, Kai wen, Si wah, Pea woon, Wei shan, Lee ping, Yin yuin, Cai yi, Zhen yi, Kai han, Bao jia, Sher li, Poh yen, Sheen Jze, Wai mun, Chor yau, Jean nie, Chia khuan, Sern tat, Xue ying, Ying yi, Kwee wen, Ying jie & Kin keuw. It was really happy and comfort when received wishes from friends. ^^

Finally, i want to remind my junior what she said. At the same time, i hope she will have the chance like Chia Heng, always feel so proud with his foster. Hope so, but i konw that it needs a lot of sacrify.

Haix... study... But after i leave form 6, i know i will damn miss FORM 6 LIFEs.

*I promise that i will never let myself regret. *

心，侧写

昨晚与朋友一起喝茶，谈了一些关于他感情的事。逃避，是因为你还在意着。我说了这样的一句话，但自己却忽略了好久。

不知从什么时候开始，我对自己说不想再见到她，也不想邀约她出来。我心想，一切顺其自然，若有缘的话3、5、7年后再偶然相遇也不错。这样一个奇怪的想法，像似领悟到了什么大哲理，其实不然，我只是在逃避。我跟本无法顺其自然，甚至限制着自己的想法。我不想见到她，是因为我在逃避，因为我还在意。

以前，当我不开心时都会习惯性地找她倾诉；不知从什么时候起，我开始压抑着自己不再找她，把烦恼都藏在心里。我怕她当时心情也不好，为她增加烦恼；我怕她正忙着，不太方便；我怕和她的世界不相同，彼此会有隔核。其实，我都知道这一切只是给自己的借口，我一直都在逃避。我知道我和她并不是同一世界的人，我知道我和她并不可能，我也知道我配不上她。说穿了，我在她面前变得自卑。我曾经很相信，真心可以胜过一切，但事实证明是我太天真了。她家庭富有，条件出众，身边也从不乏追求者，我真的自觉高攀不起。曾经美好的回忆，对我来说可能就是最好的回报了。我不懂为何我会这样的懦弱，对不起。

感情应该要拿得起、放得下，但偏偏我是个很难放下的人。我尝试放下，学习着如何放下，也开始见到效果了。我知道既然已做出了选择，就不应该再拖泥带水。我是个不太喜欢改变的人，但也是时候作出改变了。